Anyone else feeling the “crazy” that comes with the full moon? I most certainly am. My anxiety is all over the place (currently obsessing over my mouth being sore for some random reason and it will probably stop if I quit fucking with it, but here we are and I still am, but I digress) and I am so over it! Getting inside my own head way too hard, and that has got to stop to save me some sanity. I am heading to the gym once I finish my blog and breakfast situation. Movement is a great breaker of anxiety, but it will also give me a reason to stop thinking about my mouth. Also, my gym got new Rage Balls and I’m excited to give them a go!
Otherwise, life is going well. Work is fine, it’s spring break so things are quiet. Today is the anniversary of the day I met Zack for the first time. It’s been 5 years and I am so thankful for that day. Never did I ever think I would meet a beautiful, thoughtful, caring, affectionate, emotionally aware, and woke partner. He’s a really delightful person to hang out with. We have a lot of fun even if we’re just doing something as simple as going to the grocery or sitting around watching a movie. The other day, I was feeling a bit insecure for no reason (other than this moon shit), and he was so attentive and helped me get over the insecurity that I knew was dumb in the first place. He even asked me if I wanted to plant plants with him, and to me that’s a wonderful question. It’s basically the Millennial version of “Do you want to have kids with me?” It’s a commitment to see something through, and I really like that in a partner.
Because we’re coming into the full moon tomorrow, I am deciding on what it is that I want to let go of, and I think I have a conclusion. I’m going to let go of staying in my own way. So, essentially I’m going to stay out of my way. Work on not over thinking things, work on staying present, and thus staying out of my own way. Maybe i’ll even work on doing things for my future self too. Journaling each morning is something that I have gotten out of my way to accomplish, and today is the day that I want to let go of hindering myself from being great. I love the girl that I am in this moment, flaws and all. I have no reason not to. I also love the girl I was yesterday, and 5 days ago, 10 years ago, etc. And I love the girl I will be tomorrow, if I am blessed to see it. And because I love her, I no longer want to hinder her progress. There’s no point and if we’re being honest here, it is important to not hold yourself back. We all do it in some way, but now I can’t. Now I have to push forward and over the hump to the other side. It might be a mountain, it might be a small hill. Whatever it is, I’m heading that way to see what is on the other side.
What is it that you’re trying to stay out of your way about? What is it that you want but can’t seem to reach? What could happen if you worked the steps and found your way simply by staying out of it? Nothing short of amazing, I have a feeling.