Lemons…

Life has handed me a big bushel of lemons.

I realize that things that happen like this are supposed to teach us something vital, important, imperative, or just something that is beyond suffering. My body is going through some crazy stuff, which has me at the doctors office every day for a week. I’m not one to go to the doctor much anymore, just because it is expensive, but this time around I had to. The pain got too bad, and I’m in the middle of finding out what is causing it.

My first thought is always the worst, cancer, a tumor, etc. The nurse laughed at me and asked if I had a medical degree from Google. Yes, yes I do, but I don’t put too much into it, until I see a doctor. Then I assess if I was right. Usually I’m not.

Since I still don’t have a diagnosis, as I have 2 more doctors to see before I have one, I am keeping faith that I can heal my body through the way I eat, doing yoga, meditation, exercise, using oils, and overall just taking stellar care of myself. I believe that these things help more than taking a pill. I told my man yesterday that I wasn’t going to take pills because they hurt more than they help most of the time. I should know more today, and on into next week. My last appointment is on Thursday morning, as of this moment, so I am going to stay optimistic even if they throw me a hard blow. I refuse to let this keep me from doing what I want. I refuse to let something that I can possibly heal myself take over my life, as I have seen it happen to a few others.

No, this doesn’t mean that I am hiding from my problem, it doesn’t mean that I am not acknowledging my issues, but instead bettering myself because of them.

One thing the book, “The Power of Now” has taught me. In this very moment, as I sit and type to you, I have no problems except the pain. That is oddly keeping me in the moment more so than anything. And staying connected to the moment, keeping my head on straight, and handling each lemon individually, is by far the best choice I have for this situation.

I will probably write more as the information comes about. But know that I am not going down without one hell of a fight. I love myself too much to sit idle.

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